A dirty tale for adults only

(To be read aloud with an Italian accent)

THE STORY OF THE ITALIAN WHO WENT TO DETROIT

Wonna day, I’ma go to Detroit to a bigga hotel.

I go down to eat breakfast.

I tella the waitress I wanna two piss’s  toast.

She only bring one piss.

I tella her I want two piss.

She say: go to the toilet.

I say: you no understand, I wanna two piss on my plate.

She say: you better not piss on the plate, you somanabitch.

I don’t even know the lady, and she call me somanabitch!

Later, I go to eat lunch at the Ristorante Brake.

The waitress bring me a spoon and a knife, but no fock.

I tella her I wonna fock.

She tella me everybody wanna fock.

I tella her: you no understand, I wonna fock on the table.

She say: you better not fock on the table, you somanabitch.

So I go back to my room in the hotel., and there’s no shet on my bed.

I calla the manager and tella him I wonna shet.

He tella me to go to the toilet.

I say: you no understand, I wonna shet on my bed.

He say: you better not shet on the bed, you somanabitch.

I go to the check-out and the man on the desk he saya to me : Peace to you.

I say: piss on you too, you somanabitch!!!

And I go back to Italy